January 10th: Too many second chances.
Jan.
10th, 1986 (Age 7, Evansburg, New Hampshire)
Dear
diary, I think I have in mind who I would like to marry so far. Actually, there are two! They are Richard and Matthew from my class. They’re nice.
* * * * *
1/10/90 (Age 11, Evansburg)
Hi! It’s 7:43 p.m. right now and it’s a
Wednesday. I had gym today. We’re doing gymnastics. Today we just had to jump on a trampoline and
land on some mats.
Sonia had on a bead necklace at
lunch recess and she said she got it from Dan Daugherty for free! She said he had a whole bunch. I asked her to ask him if he would give me
one, and he gave her one to give me. I
guess he makes them. Mine is turquoise
and black. I haven’t seen it yet.
* * * * *
Thursday,
January 10th, 1991 (Age 12, Evansburg)
Hi! I watched Ghostbusters yesterday! Sonia recorded it off TV and lent it to
me yesterday until today. It was
good. I thought it was better than Ghostbusters
II.
I had a strange dream last
night. I dreamt that a movie, Ghost 2, was on TV and I was trying to record it but I kept messing it up. I saw the movie Ghost for my birthday,
remember?
I’ve been practicing writing with
my left hand. Bye!!!
* * * * *
Friday,
January 10th, 1992 (Age 13, Evansburg)
Mandy and I
went to the movies today and I saw Beauty
and the Beast again. We were planning to see Father of the Bride, but it hadn’t arrived at our theater yet.
It seems like all I ever write
about are movies and TV! Speaking of which, in school today we watched the
movie Glory. I only got to see the
first half of it, but it was pretty good.
I’m reading the book of Mork and Mindy. It’s good.
Sonia and Evangeline were both absent
from school today!
* * * * *
Sunday,
January 10th, 1993 (Age 14, Evansburg)
My
favorite member of Monty Python, Michael Palin, has his own TV show on A&E
called Pole to Pole. It premiered tonight,
and it turns out it’s really boring. Just another documentary show.
* * * * *
Monday, January
10th, 1994 (Age 15, Nagasaki, Japan)
I had a weird
dream last night that lasted all night long. I can only vaguely remember it
now, but I was visiting Evansburg and I was on a field trip to a big
shopping/tourist/amusement area with my class. My old history teacher was the only adult,
except for this quiet military guy who was also with us. I had bought a bottle of red wine and I was
worried whether they would let me take it on the bus home. I figured they
wouldn’t, so I had to drink it all. The only person who wasn’t a minor
was the military man, so we sat on the curbside trying to gulp it all down
before the bus came or my teacher saw us.
* * * * *
Tuesday,
January 10th, 1995 (Age 16, Kobe, Japan)
This week has been good so far. We haven’t been doing much in school. Some people have switched classes this semester. I miss Max Collins in Japan Studies and Kevin Rainier in Art. I’ve switched to Japanese 2, which is a much better class and more serious. I just hope I can keep up.
* * * * *
Wednesday, January 10th, 1996 (Age 17, Kobe)
This week has been good so far. We haven’t been doing much in school. Some people have switched classes this semester. I miss Max Collins in Japan Studies and Kevin Rainier in Art. I’ve switched to Japanese 2, which is a much better class and more serious. I just hope I can keep up.
* * * * *
Wednesday, January 10th, 1996 (Age 17, Kobe)
I’ve
been doing my math homework for the past three hours. I’m very slowly starting to understand what seems to be basic
knowledge for everyone else in the class.
My mom called from Tokyo Maryland
* * * * *
Friday, January 10th, 1998 (Age 19, Exton, New Brunswick)
My mother died a year ago today. Has it really been so long? One thing I don’t think I ever mentioned before is that a few days before she died my dad called me from the hospital. He was with my mom, and even though he had told me she wasn’t quite herself anymore, he asked her if she wanted to talk to me. All I heard was her making some animal-like noise, and my dad said no, she didn’t want to talk. That’s the last sound I ever heard her make.
Shoot, now I’m crying. Sei and I went out to a pub with Yuko. When we got back he said he was hungry and ordered Chinese, but now he’s fallen asleep. He’d better wake up before they come.
* * * * *
Sunday, January 10th, 1999 (Age 20, Exton)
It’s two years today since Mom died.
I think there’s something seriously wrong with Sei's brain. Last night the people from my Japanese class met again at one of the girl’s houses for a little party. I went for a few hours, and it was so much fun because I was finally talking to and getting to know people, and they were all nice. It was restoring my faith in Canadians. Anyway, they all decided to go downtown, but since Sei and I had been fighting I didn’t think he’d be too happy if I went. So I stupidly called him and asked if he’d mind. I was only thinking of him, but he took it the wrong way. He said fine and hung up on me, so I knew I couldn’t go. I told everyone why and the Japanese girls all said, “Ahhh, you’re so kind,” and “You’re like a Japanese woman.” Apparently Sei doesn’t think so. This morning at 9:00 he called me back and immediately started screaming at me for anything under the sun, for not calling back after he hung up on me to sneaking downtown with groups of guys and thinking about penises! Then he went back to the old faithful of “Why don’t you ever use Japanese?” He said to just say “Konnichiwa.” So I said the damned word and it started him crying – no, wailing, first saying he loved me, then that I’m a bad woman, then calling me stupid, then saying marry me next month, then saying he was never going to call me again. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, and it gave me an awful headache. I can’t imagine what his parents must have been thinking. Oh yeah, the worst part of the whole phone call was when he told me he had cancelled his ticket to Canada and never wanted to see me again, which he swore was true. I almost had to puke. He then said he would come back, but as of today our relationship was finished, and he would let me sleep with him for three months, but that’s it.
Anyway, I think things are all settled now, meaning that he still loves me and he is coming back, but I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I can’t imagine life without him, but do I really want to suffer through life with him?
* * * * *
Monday, January 10th, 2000 (Age 21, Exton)
I got back to Exton at 2:00, too late for my class, but my suitcase was here. I just stayed inside the rest of the day and called Evangeline and Mandy.
* * * * *
Wednesday, January 10th, 2001 (Age 22, Kobe)
I forgot to mention that I finished my quilt last Sunday. I’m so proud of it – it’s my first full-size quilt. It’s blue, yellow and white in a simple design, with a stars and stripes theme.
* * * * *
Thursday, January 10th, 2002 (Age 23, Kobe)
Friday, January 10th, 1998 (Age 19, Exton, New Brunswick)
My mother died a year ago today. Has it really been so long? One thing I don’t think I ever mentioned before is that a few days before she died my dad called me from the hospital. He was with my mom, and even though he had told me she wasn’t quite herself anymore, he asked her if she wanted to talk to me. All I heard was her making some animal-like noise, and my dad said no, she didn’t want to talk. That’s the last sound I ever heard her make.
Shoot, now I’m crying. Sei and I went out to a pub with Yuko. When we got back he said he was hungry and ordered Chinese, but now he’s fallen asleep. He’d better wake up before they come.
* * * * *
Sunday, January 10th, 1999 (Age 20, Exton)
It’s two years today since Mom died.
I think there’s something seriously wrong with Sei's brain. Last night the people from my Japanese class met again at one of the girl’s houses for a little party. I went for a few hours, and it was so much fun because I was finally talking to and getting to know people, and they were all nice. It was restoring my faith in Canadians. Anyway, they all decided to go downtown, but since Sei and I had been fighting I didn’t think he’d be too happy if I went. So I stupidly called him and asked if he’d mind. I was only thinking of him, but he took it the wrong way. He said fine and hung up on me, so I knew I couldn’t go. I told everyone why and the Japanese girls all said, “Ahhh, you’re so kind,” and “You’re like a Japanese woman.” Apparently Sei doesn’t think so. This morning at 9:00 he called me back and immediately started screaming at me for anything under the sun, for not calling back after he hung up on me to sneaking downtown with groups of guys and thinking about penises! Then he went back to the old faithful of “Why don’t you ever use Japanese?” He said to just say “Konnichiwa.” So I said the damned word and it started him crying – no, wailing, first saying he loved me, then that I’m a bad woman, then calling me stupid, then saying marry me next month, then saying he was never going to call me again. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, and it gave me an awful headache. I can’t imagine what his parents must have been thinking. Oh yeah, the worst part of the whole phone call was when he told me he had cancelled his ticket to Canada and never wanted to see me again, which he swore was true. I almost had to puke. He then said he would come back, but as of today our relationship was finished, and he would let me sleep with him for three months, but that’s it.
Anyway, I think things are all settled now, meaning that he still loves me and he is coming back, but I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I can’t imagine life without him, but do I really want to suffer through life with him?
* * * * *
Monday, January 10th, 2000 (Age 21, Exton)
I got back to Exton at 2:00, too late for my class, but my suitcase was here. I just stayed inside the rest of the day and called Evangeline and Mandy.
* * * * *
Wednesday, January 10th, 2001 (Age 22, Kobe)
I forgot to mention that I finished my quilt last Sunday. I’m so proud of it – it’s my first full-size quilt. It’s blue, yellow and white in a simple design, with a stars and stripes theme.
* * * * *
Thursday, January 10th, 2002 (Age 23, Kobe)
I didn’t realize
that this was the anniversary of Mom’s death until I wrote the date. I think
that happens to me every year. I went to the big cloth store to buy materials for a
prototype of my Jamie bear. I found a Fraser-ish tartan – the only difference
is that the thin line is yellow instead of white. The mohair I really want
(long and red like Jamie’s hair) is 35,000 yen a yard so it’s out of the
question. I found some shorter stuff in the same color but it’s still 7,000
yen. Why is it so expensive? I have a teddy bear supply catalog from the U.S.
with much cheaper mohair, but I can’t see the color, only the name. For today I
just bought some felt in the appropriate colors, and I’ve got the head done.
But now I’m not sure if mixing the red with the white was a good idea because
he looks like a fox. However, his uncle Simon of Lavat was nicknamed “The Old Fox.”
I really wish I could write fiction like
Diana Gabaldon. Sei keeps telling me I should. The problem is, I haven’t
written any fiction since junior high school because that’s when I ran out of
ideas. I’m convinced that every story has already been written thrice over, and
that’s discouraging.
* * * * *
Friday, January
10th, 2003 (Age 24, Kobe)
Sei couldn’t
go with me to take my brother to the airport so we had to take the bus again, and the
city festival held us up for thirty minutes. We still got to the
airport in time to have lunch and look around at the shops. We didn’t hug
goodbye, I just said “Come back next year.” I can’t remember if we hugged last
year. It always feels weird. I cried when I got home because Sei was out, gone to hang out at the restaurant on the first floor of our building, and not working on his thesis which is why he stayed
home in the first place. I was also thinking about how I’m going to have to
start coming home to an empty house again, now that my brother’s gone.
* * * * *
Saturday,
January 10th, 2004 (Age 25, Kobe)
Mom died seven
years ago. I think it may even have been a Saturday -- if it was seven years
ago, wouldn’t that make it so? I’ve almost finished knitting my first sweater.
I just have one more sleeve to do. Next I want to try an orange one.
* * * * *
Monday, January
10th, 2005 (Age 26, Kobe)
It was a
national holiday, but we didn’t do anything. Sei’s parents took their dogs to a dog-friendly pension in Okayama for the weekend. From the pictures
it looks like a nice place.
We had
to buy a new car battery.
* * * * *
Tuesday, January
10th, 2006 (Age 27, Kobe)
My mom died nine years ago today. That sure is a
long time. I feel like going out but we don’t have any money.
* * * * *
Wednesday,
January 10th, 2007 (Age 28, Kobe)
It’s
the tenth anniversary of my mother’s death. I felt like renting a video and was
going to call Kai to watch it with me, but I thought it wouldn’t be fair to
him. I feel like for his sake we shouldn’t meet privately at all, since I know
he’s in love with me, and he knows I have feelings for Yuji. Anyway, around
9:00 he mailed me asking if I wanted to watch a movie, so I went over there and we
saw Princess Mononoke.
Disclaimer: This blog is a work of non-fiction. Most personal names (except for those of celebrities) and place names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals.
Comments
Post a Comment