January 5th: When I ignored my first anniversary.

Jan. 5th, 1986 (Age 7, Evansburg, New Hampshire)

Dear diary, before we left from Granny’s house I got two pendants. One is an apple and one is an umbrella. I made the umbrella my lucky charm.

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Sunday, January 5th, 1992 (Age 13, Evansburg)

I stayed home and did nothing today while my parents and brother went to Ames. I watched The Top 100 Videos of 1991 on MTV. I started watching at #39 and watched all the way to #2. It was Losing My Religion, and I recorded it because it’s one of my favorite songs.

     I finished the book I was reading, Weekend by Christopher Pike. He’s a really good author. Next I’m going to read The Fisher King. Maybe I’ll start it tonight.

     I’m talking on the phone with Beth Sheerer. I don’t really like talking on the phone, but I’m bored.

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Tuesday, January 5th, 1993 (Age 14, Evansburg)

I figured out the answering machine and put an interesting Monty Python message on it. It’s in the computer room.

     My brother just got home from a basketball game.

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Wednesday, January 5th, 1994 (Age 15, Nagasaki, Japan)

I got a letter and picture from Angel. The picture is of her, her cat, and my fish after the Winter Ball, and Angel looks beautiful.
     I feel rotten that I haven’t done any of my home school work in a long, long time. Sure, all my friends are on Christmas vacation, but I have vacation all year long. Now I’m way behind.

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Thursday, January 5th, 1995 (Age 16, Nagasaki)

Only three more days to go. Sei is going to meet me at the airport. I can’t wait to see him. It seems like it’s been a long time, when really it hasn’t. Only three weeks. I’ve almost forgotten what he looks like. All I can really remember is how his eyes crinkle up when he laughs. I love to hear him laugh. We don’t speak the same language, so I can’t make him laugh as easily as other people. When I do it’s a warm feeling.

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Friday, January 5th, 1996 (Age 17, Nagasaki)

I spent the day and evening with Iman and her Japanese friend. We went window shopping and then to a reggae club which wasn’t that good because we were the only ones there and everyone was broke and had to use my money.

     I’ve just discovered that somewhere along the way I’ve lost one of the platinum earrings Sei’s mom gave me. How could I have done that! They’re so important to me, and I feel terrible. I feel almost as if I’ve betrayed Sei somehow, because I said before I wouldn’t go out at night (even though I called and told him and he said it would be okay), and if I hadn’t I would still have that earring. I feel like such a loser.

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Sunday, January 5th, 1997 (Age 18, Exton, New Brunswick)

Sei came, and he didn’t have any problems. I worried for nothing as usual. He couldn’t get into his apartment, though, because he doesn’t have the key and the office was closed. He’s staying with me tonight.
     My present from his mother was a Tiffany open-heart necklace (which I already knew about), and from him was a new watch. I haven’t gotten anything for him yet. I want to buy him a saxophone, but I haven’t found a decent used one yet.

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Monday, January 5th, 1998 (Age 19, Exton)

Classes resumed and I made it to the first one, but was too late for the second one. Sei and I had gone to see an apartment down the street, where Mondo Video is. We saw two flats, and I think we’ll take the second one. It was a very large one-bedroom for $625 a month. Only Sei will sign the lease, because I don’t want them to use our current apartment as a reference (and frankly, the same company owns both buildings). I also applied for a waitressing job at the new Japanese restaurant. I’m not sure if I’ll get it, but I do think I have an advantage, having lived in Japan.

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Tuesday, January 5th, 1999 (Age 20, Exton)

The American Literature class I signed up for is deathly boring. I went in wide awake, and minutes after the prof started talking I was falling asleep. I wish I could switch, but there’s nothing else that will fit in my schedule.

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Wednesday, January 5th, 2000 (Age 21, Kobe, Japan)

This afternoon Sei and I picked up our marriage certificate. I’ve only got three full days left here and Sachiko still hasn’t called me. I don’t want to go back to Halifax because so many problems are waiting for me there. I have to convince the head of the Arts Department to let me graduate one credit short. I have to finish making my dress and buy the rings. I have to find a church, a priest, a photographer and a videographer. I have to go back to my shitty supermarket job.

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Friday, January 5th, 2001 (Age 22, Kobe)

I knew yesterday was our first wedding anniversary, but I forgot off and on. We didn’t mention it, anyway. We’ll probably celebrate March 2nd instead since that was the day of the wedding. My boss did the same thing to me again – I planned to use the lesson he gave me yesterday, but today he sent another one. At least I was able to prepare for it a bit more, and it went okay.

     On the 27th of this month the Kobe Regatta and Athletic Club is holding their annual Robbie Burns Supper and I really want to go. People will be there in costume and there’ll be a five-course meal, live music, and dancing. It costs 7,000 yen though, and Sei has a test so he can’t go. I’m thinking about asking my friend Yoshiko but it’s kind of expensive.

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Saturday, January 5th, 2002 (Age 23, Kobe)

Sei was nice to me all day and he didn’t drink. I slept for most of the day. I didn’t leave the apartment. We ordered pizza for dinner.

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Sunday, January 5th, 2003 (Age 24, Kobe)

Sei kept both my brother and I awake until 4:30 a.m. fighting with me. He was literally changing between love and hate every two minutes, and finally I just had to lay back and let him hug or punch me as he pleased. I don’t want to give in but it’s wrecking my mind, when he keeps alternating between being my husband and a raging monster. What he needs is a good strong sleeping pill with his first drink, to prevent this kind of thing. Lucky for him today was Sunday, but he’s just as likely to do it on a work night, as you’ll already know by reading previous entries in this diary.

     Allen and I met my friend Lewis and his current girlfriend in Osaka so he could take us to Denden Town, the electronics region. All Allen has bought on this trip are video games.

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Monday, January 5th, 2004 (Age 25, Kobe)

I wanted to go somewhere but mid-afternoon a migraine hit and I had to go back to bed. I called Evangeline in the morning. It felt good to tell someone about my worries over Jess, and about Sei not giving me any money.

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Wednesday, January 5th, 2005 (Age 26, Kobe)

What a great day! My piano student didn’t show up so I had no lesson. Sei was home all day and all night. He went to the grocery store and bought all the ingredients for dinner (tacos). And my boy Cabbage Patch Kid that I bought on the internet a month ago finally arrived.

     We ate dinner early and I had a bottle of sparkling wine, so by 8:00 I was getting squiffy. Sei was playing a video game so I curled up beside him on the sofa with my book and a quilt, and alternately read or napped until 1:00 a.m.

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Thursday, January 5th, 2006 (Age 27, Kobe)

These past few days I’ve been researching the Wiccan religion. Of course I’ve been interested in old Celtic religions since high school, and now I kind of want to put some rituals into my life. Sei doesn’t believe in any higher powers but I do and I should be allowed to express it somehow. A woman from one of my online groups has been giving me advice since I asked for it, but even she said I should give it serious consideration before I jump in headfirst. I read that one should read up and consider for “a year and a day” before being initiated, and that’s what I’m going to do. I want to buy a notebook tomorrow to write down what I learn. There are lots of different types of Wicca and I’m more interested in the power of nature than learning magick, though I may change my mind.

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Friday, January 5th, 2007 (Age 28, Kobe)

I'm home. I mailed Kai a few days ago and told him not to come meet me at the airport after all, but I did have dinner at his place so I could explain to him that I just want to be friends. He understood but he hopes we can be something more in a year or two. I guess we'll just see where life takes us all. I think I'm going to spend the next four months concentrating on work and counting the weeks till I can see Yuji again.
     I want to see my photos but my camera battery died right when we left the hotel.

Disclaimer: This blog is a work of non-fiction. Most personal names (except for those of celebrities) and place names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals.